Update, 9 months after rai

Well what a difference 9 months makes!!

I have since rai put on another 3 stone which now means i need to lose at least 9 stone!! how on earth i am going to do that i dont know.

All i do know is my life before rai was hell, since rai its been a struggle but im getting there and now feel better than i have in a long time.

I had years of being on carbimazole that made me ache so i stopped taking them much to my gps disgust last september, also levothyroxine which i was convinced were making me feel ill and again to my docs disgust i stopped in october and started self medicating with t3 after reading some amazing stories and with great support and guidance from the thyroid patients advocacy.

Within 4 weeks of me having rai i became hypo for the 1st time ever my tsh was 38 and i felt dreadful so so tired and weak, my tsh stayed at 38 for 6 months until i started on levothyronine (t3) then after a month it was at 28 and 6 weeks later its 9.2 i need to get it as close to 0 as i can and after proving to my gp that t3 works he now prescribes it for me so that was a great result, i think though he had had enough of me going armed with a load of information about t3 every time i had an appointment.

Now 9 months later i have no brain fog, thats completely gone, i laugh again, have my sense of humour back, loving playing with my girls and slowly my energy is returning.

3 months ago i wished i had never had rai now im so pleased i did, its easier to treat hypo than hyper, its been a struggle but im getting there and im so happy to be alive.

life after rai

Deena Twigg

Update time.......
Had the rai after much debating 7 weeks ago
At that time my heartrate was 140/150 a minute resting and i felt so ill
Today its 76 resting and my bloods have come back normal.
I am still on 40mg carbimazole and 75mg levothyroxine so i know there is a chance it may not have worked but im keeping everything crossed x
Having the rai was one hard decision, but i have made a lovely friend on here Becky and decided after she had it done i would too, the only tough bit was my girls, no contact within arms length for 7 days then 15 mins a day hugging for 14 days
It was very tough, i was there about to have my radio active pill and was sobbing because i love them so much and knew how hard it was going to be.
But we got through it, we ate at the same dining table they just ate at the other end, we did homework and drawings together, we made cakes and if they came a little too close i said ahah and they moved back.
The hard bits were not being able to comfort megs after a fall and Chelsea saying i desperately need a hug over and over again so i made them certificates every day counting down the days on them and a wall chart doing the same and we got through it.
Bed times were hard, my hubby who was amazing throughout would tuck the girls in and i would stand at the door and blow them kisses, they used to open their mouths and said they swallowed them lol.
I pray i never have that racing heart and feeling so ill again that i ever have to go through that again but if i had to, would i? yes of course i would xx

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH

Thats how i feel today.

After a lovely birthday yesterday with fantastic friends i have come down with one hell of a bump!! Depressed, so so tired and very achy i can hardly walk im so knackered.

Decided to have a quiet day when kids are at school tomorrow as every day i spend nearly all day cleaning washing and ironing and tomorrow im flipping through and thats it.

Had my blood results and my tft is borderline satisfactory, well the docs may want to pass that as ok but no way is it i need my thyroxine upped and then maybe i may start to feel human again!!

I know half the reason im so depressed is because of a family fallout that i hate so much i would do anything to resolve it but dont think thats going to happen for a long while i miss them so much.

Hope everyone else is ok xx

More fed up than ever!!

Where to start!!

I feel like a demon woman i am the grouchiest most snappy, miserable cow i have ever been.

Is this because ive been smoke free for 17 days or because this damned graves disease has such a hold on me?

Whatever it is i do not like it, im snapping at my kids who i adore so much, i even told my hubby ive had enough of being married and at the time i meant it, i cannot put into words just how ill i feel im crying at everything and anything, was listening to have a heart on the radio this morning where they were fundraising for kids with terminal illnesses well that did me in completely.

I feel totally inadequate as a mother and wife at the moment especially as a mother im so snappy i absolutely detest myself .

Im not sleeping too wll the doc gave me sleeping pills even though i told him i dont want them and they are still in the cupboard untouched and even though im not sleeping im not too bad first thing i get the girls to school and do most of my housework but by about 1pm im aching all over, i hurt so much my feet ache and my legs feel like lead weights i feel like i have flu.

I have a blood test on weds i am guessing i am very underactive due to the block and replace meds so will have extra thyroxine which fingers crossed will make me feel better.

I am also neglecting my friends, some who live locally and Sally my dear friend in Reading who i think of a lot and who i will phone ive just been such a miserable bitch but guess she will read this and forgive me x

I was as i said so miserable this morning and thanks to me gorgeous friend Nina for taking me out for lunch, boy that did me good i have felt quite a lot better since.

Talking of Nina we are starting a healthy eating and exercise plan together on monday and i cant wait, i want to lose 6 stone by xmas since giving up the fags ive put on nearly a stone in just over 2 weeks by overeating especially brazil nuts i am addicted to them but think a whole bag at 1400 cals a bag a day is a bit much but i swear they have replaced the fag craving i now crave them instead!! so from monday i have to say bye to them aswell.

Well to sum this all up i am a miserable bitch at the moment, if someone could lock me in a room and leave me alone i would be happy isnt that awful i feel totally inadequate as a mother, wife and friend, boy this can only get better xx

Well its been a strange week, went back to docs on monday my levels are high and as guessed my graves disease has returned with a vengeance!!

My doc said straight away about putting me back on block and replace for the 3rd time, i was very concerned as the last 2 times they have blocked my thyroid for months which left me feeling so ill then replaced it, this time however she suggested taking 40mg carbimazole daily to block and after a week start taking 100mg levothyroxine to bring my levels back up.

My heart was beating at 146 beats a minute i had palpitations, felt very irritable emotional unable to cope with any stress, terrible shakes and trembling body,my hubby Darren bless him took the week off work to help me i felt a complete failure!!

In the meantime i caught a chest infection and was put on antibiotics and steroids this certainly didnt help as i coughed so much my pulse went even higher but 2 days later and its all settling down so on advice of my doc can start taking my thyroxine as soon as my chest is better.

Feeling slightly better than last week that was the lowest point i have ever been at and i so dont want to be there again, so fingers crossed this time the block and replace will work this time.

I feel happier today though spent a lovely day with my friends Sallyand John and this really lifted my mood.

Thankyou for reading xx

MY GRAVES DISEASE HELL!!

Its late nearly 1am and im sat here about to write about this awful graves disease i have even though i am so tired but when i get to bed i cant sleep properly so its a waste of time!!
I was diagnosed with graves which is a thyroid disease around 7 years ago.
Basically i knew something was wrong because i felt so ill, i had trouble staying awake and remember one day thinking that i could have fallen asleep on the pavement!!
I have had 2 courses of block and replace therapy which is a very high dose of carbimazole for several weeks to block the thyroid function completely which makes you feel desperately ill, then they give you levothyroxine to bring your levels back up, this part took months to get right, i started on 25mgs a day along with 40mg carbimazole and had bloods taken every 6 weeks, every blood test showed my levels were still too low so gradually the thyroxine was increased til eventually i was on 125mg a day.
At last i started to feel normal again and apart from my hair thinning slightly all the horrible graves symptoms had gone, no more palpitations, racing heart, hot sweats and feeling so tired.
But all good things unfortunately have to end and after 18 months they stop all the meds in the hope that the graves has gone, my consultant told me that 8 out of 10 people are cured and are still graves free in 10 years that was in september last year.
I have kept quite well, i moved back home which lifted my mood and was feeling pretty good until about a week or so ago and i now feel dizzy a lot, extremely tired but wake frequently in the night, heartb racing again so i had bloods taken last friday and i had the dreaded phonecall today from docs asking me to go in as blood test has come bacvk showing its returned again, thats 5 months!!
This is the 2nd time i have been through this and not sure i want to go through that hell again so will be discussing on monday what to do.
The other options i wont even consider, they are having the thyroid removed definately a no no and radioactive iodine this would mean i couldnt go near my kids for a week that is unthinkable!!
Will update after ive seen the doc and will talk to her about ldn also.
xx

My gorgeous daughter Megan was born prematurely and weighed just 2lb 8oz at birth.
She had a really tough 1st month of her life but amazed me every day and i was a very proud mum bringing her home weighing just 3lb 6oz.
She amazes me every day with her happy loving way but i am very worried about her as she has global delay.
This is a delay in learning globally so every aspect of learning is affected.
Please read the link to this on my page.
She is my ray of sunshine and i am pushing every day for extra help for her at school not an easy task atall!!
Well off to bed now
Night all xx

Sally you are wonderful

Just had a lovely phone conversation with my friend Sally.
She is such an amazing person who has such courage and determination.
She is being given a chance to try an unlicensed drug for her fm and i have everything crossed that it works for her, sending loads of love xx

A big thankyou to my dear friend Sal for doing this blog for me, please read about her by clicking the link and give your support xx