More fed up than ever!!

Where to start!!

I feel like a demon woman i am the grouchiest most snappy, miserable cow i have ever been.

Is this because ive been smoke free for 17 days or because this damned graves disease has such a hold on me?

Whatever it is i do not like it, im snapping at my kids who i adore so much, i even told my hubby ive had enough of being married and at the time i meant it, i cannot put into words just how ill i feel im crying at everything and anything, was listening to have a heart on the radio this morning where they were fundraising for kids with terminal illnesses well that did me in completely.

I feel totally inadequate as a mother and wife at the moment especially as a mother im so snappy i absolutely detest myself .

Im not sleeping too wll the doc gave me sleeping pills even though i told him i dont want them and they are still in the cupboard untouched and even though im not sleeping im not too bad first thing i get the girls to school and do most of my housework but by about 1pm im aching all over, i hurt so much my feet ache and my legs feel like lead weights i feel like i have flu.

I have a blood test on weds i am guessing i am very underactive due to the block and replace meds so will have extra thyroxine which fingers crossed will make me feel better.

I am also neglecting my friends, some who live locally and Sally my dear friend in Reading who i think of a lot and who i will phone ive just been such a miserable bitch but guess she will read this and forgive me x

I was as i said so miserable this morning and thanks to me gorgeous friend Nina for taking me out for lunch, boy that did me good i have felt quite a lot better since.

Talking of Nina we are starting a healthy eating and exercise plan together on monday and i cant wait, i want to lose 6 stone by xmas since giving up the fags ive put on nearly a stone in just over 2 weeks by overeating especially brazil nuts i am addicted to them but think a whole bag at 1400 cals a bag a day is a bit much but i swear they have replaced the fag craving i now crave them instead!! so from monday i have to say bye to them aswell.

Well to sum this all up i am a miserable bitch at the moment, if someone could lock me in a room and leave me alone i would be happy isnt that awful i feel totally inadequate as a mother, wife and friend, boy this can only get better xx